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In-the-know taters saw our breaking story last week that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D[runk]-California) has been embezzling from taxpayers for decades.

Yes, patriots, it’s finally happening. She’s going to jail!

Or not, depending on how gullible you are.

In a completely logical and 100 percent truthful follow up to that story, we’ve now gotten word that Attorney General William “Droopy Dog” Barr has issued an arrest warrant for the thieving Speaker.

Assuming you’re super-duper gullible, here’s the scoop: Nancy Pelosi violated US Civil Code 2020, Sec. 1103, which states,

“Any elected official who is caught breaking their sacred oath shall be thrown unceremoniously out of their office in handcuffs and frog-marched across the White House lawn to the applause of hundreds of millions of relieved REAL American patriots.”

Hmmmmm. Reading that very real and not-at-all-made-up law brings to mind a different elected official. Anyone else thinking of the Manchurian Cantaloupe? I know you are.

Hold that thought for a minute. Let’s get back to Nancy Pelosi.

Many taters are absolutely convinced that she’s been stealing from American taxpayers for decades. They claim she has been breaking the law, under the noses of her Congressional colleagues and government watchdogs, because otherwise how could she become so wealthy on a Congressional salary?

And why look at the obvious answer when it’s easier to manufacture a conspiracy theory and make up stupid stories about theft?

She and her husband have made a fortune on real estate and investments.

See how easy that is? They own a whole bunch of investment properties in California, a winery, and stakes in Facebook, Apple, and other major corporations. It’s almost like…making good investments is a sound business plan. Much better than, say, opening casinos and then bankrupting them a few years later.

But back to the Manchurian Cantaloupe. If the taters REALLY cared about elected officials fleecing the American public, they’d be up in arms about Trump’s golf trips putting millions of dollars IN HIS OWN POCKET.

But they don’t care. Cult members refuse to see the truth.

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